Rules are like devices that trigger our emotions. We humans though have different rules for same values, they bring great impact on our lives. This impact is kind of a pain or pleasure that affects our lives. In fact we have several ways to feel bad but few ways to feel good.
Some times it is due to religious and cultural conditioning these rules get created and some times we create them to feel successful or would get motivated to work hard for achieving something in life.
Why do we impose such rules? There are several reasons and one such reason is we throughout the day observe people who touch our lives through set of rules. Most of them don’t even know our rules and we never express it to them. In spite of that we wish people to know them and comply with it. If they don’t then we start carrying hard emotions for ourselves and likely to carry hard emotions for others. It is important to communicate these rules subtly without upsetting anybody because it is difficult to expect people to know about the rules. If they are not known to other people, they get easily violated and may create misunderstanding. If we see somebody breaking them we get upset. We don’t feel good.
Before we set rules we have to check if they are empowering us to feel good. If it is difficult to meet the criteria of the rules, they will disempower our lives. If we cannot control them they will again disempower our lives. If we feel more bad than more good then again they are disempowering rules.
Hence rules should be such that they would move us in direction of human values, using criteria which we can control and which are achievable. If they are unachievable, they become non starters, a burden and unacceptable to others. If we are making rules of expecting perfection from family members and others; it is impossible to meet such rule. It is unachievable as nobody is perfect in this world. We cannot control actions and emotions of other people. Also such rule brings unpleasantness and upsets everybody.
It is very easy to set rules then to move away from them, once they start controlling our lives as well as our destiny. Therefore it is better we start scrutinizing them for their ability to bring success in our life. It is never too late to check them than blindly adapting them through beliefs. As rules generate behavior pattern, all we have to do is to create system of evaluating and controlling these rules, if they are achievable and they bring happiness in our lives. Happiness comes with achievement of goal and this happiness brings better treatment to our friends, colleagues and pals. These rules can be called personal rules.
Today everybody is living stressful life specially woman in our society. Not only do they have to have perfect body, they have to take care of their husband, children, parents, relatives and friends and that too perfectly. Same is also expected of men of our society. There are also rules which are agreed by human society in general like if I want health I must not smoke. If I want happiness in relation with my wife or husband then I must not have extra marital affairs. There are some rules which are never violated because of shear pain associated with it. But some rules though we should not break, we violate it again and again because we never treat them seriously. Because we assume so many things in lives.
Rules can give environment which is needed to be successful in life. They can motivate us to grow and expand in our life. What is required is balance between personal rules and never to be violated rules in appropriate context. If we don’t know the rules we may sooner or later violate them but if we observe people and understand their rules then we can predict their behavior and meet their needs. The most empowering rule is to enjoy the life no matter what happens.
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